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Dad,

Im in love with a grown older matured man.but he belongs to someone else.I love him too.but im afraid this could be because I missed you so much.I needed someone to guide me.cuz im really lost.hes 8 years older than me dad.and he always advices me.I really wanna tell him I love him so much,but I couldnt.I remember u said once,dont ever have the feelings of wanting something that belongs to someone else.I realize he belongs to his beloved wife and kids.am I doing the wrong things now dad.please tell me.

But I know u always trusted me.

I remember when I sleep and get nightmares,u were always the ones I will look up to.

Im sorry dad.for not being able in foundations to afford your medical.I blamed me for this.I was never a rich person.to afford all those medical expenses.im so ashamed.

I wish u were still here.

Now I drink all the times.whenever I get the chance to rest.I will drink cuz I hate to think about things.tell me dad,how u been in heaven?

I believe in God.I believe good things are around us.its all because of u.uve always been the ones who stand by me.no matter if im right or wrong.U WERE MY ONLY ONE.I know how much u wanted me to grow.to know whats right and wrong.ive always been the bad daughter to u.

I wish I could still sit next to u.I dont mind if we dont talk.just sitting next by to me,its already enough for me.but im afraid now.icant handle everything,dad.