Where r u

Dad,

Everythings not the same anymore since ure gone.you know?there r times I feel like not doing anything anymore.I dont feel like talking to people.im not happy doing anything anymore.I feel like I just wanna sleep all day long.luckily I have my kids.if I dont have em with me,I dont know whats my purpose of living anymore.I feel so lost.I know u hated me this way.cuz u been pushing me.forcing me.advicing me.u did everything u could.to make me see this life is beautiful.honestly ure the main purpose for me to go further.I just wanna make u proud.but now ure not here anymore.I feel that I have always disappointed u.and I never made anything to make u happy.now I lost the cause.the purpose.I was holding to what u said.frame in every so-called disaster,"in 5 years will this matter?".but I dont trust that anymore.I see all darkness surrounding me.no more sunshine.im not happy.where r u dad?do u see us still?I can never face a single day without thinking of u.I always see the moment ure dying.its so heartbreaking.there r days I feel like I just wanna stay quiet not doing anything and be left dead alone.I wish to be buried near to u.but that doesnt matter anymore right?as long as I die and my soul went to find u.ill always wanna find u again.