My head and mind is in mess.
Everythings messed up.
Firstly, I did say sorry to my kids, for bringing them to this world without the love of a father.
Secondly, I hate my religion now. I wish I can go back. But thinking I will only mess my childrens life, I am stucked here. I cant. I love my kids. All u want now is for em to live happily.
Thirdly, I have lost the guy of my life. Whom I always turn to whenever life knocks me down. I am forever lost now. Im a terrible mother.
I hate me. But I love dad, I love mom, my siblings and my kids. The only persons in my life ever. Im ashamed of me. All the tears came out from my eyes, all the pain I felt in my chest, all the hurt inmy heart, can never explain how messed I am. I wish I can fix this. But I cant. I suck.
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