Me

Dads 100th days today.

I feel everything surroundings filled with happiness. They said its the day, where we celebrating daddy has finally reached to heaven. Tho nothing can prove that right, honestly I feel the heat, the happiness and joy surrounding us. Its like magic. This is no lie. Tho daddys not here, feels like hes still around.

And today I have got the chance to have a little talk to my cousins. Feels like the bond is strong. What made me sad was, I have this meaningful conversation with one of my cousins. He respected daddy. And he gonna make daddy his idol. He was nearly becoming a Rev. Father long time ago. But due to some problems, its been stucked. But he never stopped spreading the word of God. And the same goes tonight. I know my belief. Ive never changed abit. Since the day I was borned. He, with all his courage and strength, has asked me to make a decision. Tho it means losing my job. He speaks like dad. He reminds me of dad. I was the reason, dad, has lost his confident. How could I. I mean I know, but hearing this from someone again, makes me get the thinking. Why would I waste another chance? Theres a reason to why I was forced to move to here. I always believe that. My instinct has never failed me. Its God.

How. Thats the biggest question ever played in my head. For all these past years, dad has tried to save me. I know. He was the only man who ever tried to be strong for me. Theres no other man. He my dad. Even I told him in my prayers, in my tears, everytime, to not worry about me and us. To keep on walking and find his way to God, I still feel, hes still up there watching us from above. I never want to burden him no more. But feels like hes still looking after us, everytime. I wont forget to say a prayer for you, dad. Not even a sec. I will always pray for you. I will always keep you in my heart and mind.

I been trying hard to not cry in front of anyone anymore. Especially mom and my sis and my bro and my kids. With the hope, they will be strong. I gotta be strong. I wont show any pain and tears no more, dad.